But We Make It Hard, is the actual rest of the title.
My new move down to Miami Beach has been fun and extremely eye opening. That sassy ass who ran around in Jersey is a mouse in Florida. An actual quiet little mouse who comes out to play when no one is around. I mean I literally make my boyfriend handle all of the communication with new adults because I’m convinced he is better at it than I am. This experience is making me question my whole existence, WHO AM I?
Leaving all the dramatics aside, I know I am fully aware of who I am. I’ve always been open to adventures and when the adventure starts I have to close my eyes and make someone else push the start button. This moment in time is very reminiscent of my first day in high school. I cried in homeroom and had the great virtue of sitting behind the funny girl in 1st period. I made sure I found a way to open my mouth and stick to that funny girl for the rest of my life, literally.
Though I am beginning anew and very excited to do so, I bring with me my past experiences and my concurrent goals that I had set for 2015 when I was still back in Jersey. For example, I told myself I would be focused on building career and stability this year, you know, become an actual adult. Get my credit score up, professional development opportunities, learn to be better to the friends and family I already have, and just chill. Given my personality and false sense of adventure, I should’ve known that I would allow life to throw a wrench in that plan. Miami happened, even when I swore I wouldn’t let it happen.
Here I am, scared of humans and working from home away from humans. I’m realizing exactly how ridiculous I really am, so I’ve decided it’s time to get over myself. I joined a meet up, attempting to not scroll through the comments or analyze all of the member pictures before I actually attend an event. Practicing what I preach, but I REALLY WANT TO JUDGE.
I’ll be investing in my friendships by becoming a regular at a yoga studio, doing something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m already becoming a regular at this little restaurant that has good people and good food, making a name for myself around these parts. I started exploring what alone really means in my new space, its quite nice. I run alone, sit alone, write alone, and read alone. I figured, make “alone” a thing I enjoy, share that with new people who know absolutely nothing about you except the fact that they enjoy that “alone” thing too.
Meeting new people when I am in the business of being authentically and fabulously me at 26 is something to look forward to. Anyone I vibe with will be connecting with adult me, the me I worked hard to identify and that is a new experience. I’m loyal & loving to my high school and college ladies and gents especially because we have worked through the growing pains (xoxo, mad love to my peeps that hold me down). But it will be a truly refreshing experience to meet someone and present myself as I am. #yesnewfriends #yesnewstart