The title alone has about ten angles I can choose from to write this article. The angry ex girlfriend who wants nothing more than to see her ex practically beg her to get back together; the girl who got her heart trampled over by a dumptruck and wants to see her ex boo suffer physical pain, and of course, who could forget the woman who just wants to move on with her life now that she finds herself single, sad, and without a clue? There are a lot of reasons some women want to take “revenge” on the one person that broke their precious hearts, and everyone is so different that this article could never cover each base. However, the last example seems to resonate with quite a few ladies I know (myself included), so fortunately, if you find yourself in any way feeling the way my friends felt, you are in luck because today just might turn things around for you. This article may just bring in a speck of hope for you, and shed some light and perspective into your life. SO listen up, gorgeous, because I’ve got a whole lot to say!
Revenge has such a negative tone doesn’t it? People use it in such an ugly way that it takes away from its beauty. I know it sounds like I’m a sicko, but don’t judge just yet, because I’m going somewhere with this. I, for one, have been torn up by something that was done to me a few months back by the person I once thought I would eventually marry (pfft, boy did he miss out ). I will admit that I felt angry, betrayed, sad, and everything else in between that a person feels when he/she is hit with a breakup that has to just got to go in the record books. One day, however, I stopped wondering what it would be like to be back with him and I started to think of how I can move forward, and at the same time, let him know that he wasn’t sh**. You know, kill two birds with one stone. A friend of mine once did the whole jealous spiel, where she showed up to her ex’s favorite chill spot, and made out with the first cute guy that approached her, all while making sure that her ex was eyeballing her. I didn’t want to do that. I just wanted to genuinely move on, but at the same time cause a little emotional pain to the jerk that worked so hard to get me so worked up.
To get to where you want to be, you first need to evaluate all the things that you’re doing; better yet, evaluate all the things you are not doing. At first I was going about this revenge thing on a premature level. What I thought would hurt him, would just probably tickle him, and make him feel super important. Do not be shocked at how you can get the sweetest revenge; you’ve got it in you boo. All you have to do is NOTHING! That’s right, do absolutely nothing. No calling, no texting, zilch, zip, nada. If he f***** up, why would you do any of these things anyway? I have no idea where I heard this, but it is true what they say: “the opposite of love is indifference”. Shutting him out of your life speaks volumes, because it cements your spot in the “you won’t f*** with me club”, and it leaves room for you to focus on what’s really important… YOU.
This no contact thing is for you darling. It is a time for you to explore your interests, and aspirations, while at the same time learning about yourself and your ability to cope with change and unplanned situations. You really do grow as a person after a breakup, if you use the time to understand who you are. You are not in a relationship now, you are on your own, and that is okay. You are still fierce, and you don’t need to be anyone’s accessory. Relationships are supposed to enhance your happiness, not define it. So believe it or not, you don’t need him.
Oh but what about the closure? There are circumstances when people just need to know why, and I totally get it, because damnit we deserve to know why, but it doesn’t always happen. Even with the longest and most thorough explanations in the book, people still don’t see why they couldn’t just work it out. When people close to us die, sometimes we think how it could/would have been if we just said this or that. We think of the things left unsaid and thus, we leave no room for closure. Can we go back in time and change this? No. Can we bring them back to life so that we can get closure? I wish but it can’t happen. The hope for closure is sometimes the very thing that binds us to the past, even when the past is not a place we should backtrack to.
Now for revenge…the beauty in this is that while you are doing all the things you want to accomplish and discover, he will eventually wonder what you are up to. He will even at one point or another wonder if you are with someone else. There is no need to pull all the stops to make him jealous or go out of your way to make his life hell. If he cared about you, it will not make him feel good that you are not stroking his ego by checking in on him after the breakup has settled. Another plus about this is that you won’t make an ass out of yourself if he has already moved on, because he won’t have a clue as to what you feel about him, and your silence basically tells him that he’s not worth even a thought. This might be the hardest thing you do, but the rewards are just infinite. You will get your life together and live well, which is the kryptonite to most men who expect you to pine over them. So be confident, and go for it. You can do this!